dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
