Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
