so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
not ubering you a puppy
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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