I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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