Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize