The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize