So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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