he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
