The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
