Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize