Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
