My hand turned me down
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
