my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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