i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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