My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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