i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
