I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
