yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
