distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I could fuck to npr.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
