So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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