saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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