No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
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