I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
