I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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