Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Tornado booty call.. dedication
This baby is an asshole
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
