Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
