Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
