Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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