How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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