I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
