She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
