I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
