so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Randomize
