K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
