How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
