I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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