Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
