Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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