He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
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