dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
