i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
