so let's talk penis.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
