I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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