U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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