and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
