Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I hate having morals and standards the next morning.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.

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(631): View more from New York

Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?

(516): View more from New York

lol... you weighed it?

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(304): View more from West Virginia

you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.

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