I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I love having hate sex.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
