I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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