he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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