soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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