Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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