Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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