I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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