Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
