i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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