I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
